(Not that I or foodieporn encourages anyone to drink to excess and for heaven’s sake, call a cab if you do, dammit)
To encourage your pre-Christmas relaxing and, I am hopeful, a giggle as well:
Victoria’s Version of the Ina Garten Drinking Game
Don’t get me wrong, I love the Contessa, in all her Hampton’s diva-ness. She is truly a goddess among women and I have some serious kitchen envy.
Sit down to your favorite or the current episode of The Barefoot Contessa with your drink of choice and take a sip when Ina:
1. uses something obviously purchased at Williams-Sonoma (the towels are easy, but it is virtually the whole kitchen so you might want to take very tiny sips).
2. asks, “How easy is that?” or “How bad can that be?” or some other version of those.
3. makes food that looks kind of messy but you’re okay with it.
4. does the little, crazy laugh that doesn’t sound completely genuine (but must be or someone on the production team would have made her stop a long time ago).
5. double-kisses any of her friends.
6. doesn’t scrape out the bowl and you know there is a whole brownie/cookie or half a cake left in there.
7. walks outside barefoot to pick flowers, you know, to emphasis the barefoot thing in the Barefoot Contessa.
Now that you are getting your buzz on, take a shot or a big drink whenever Ina:
1. starts a recipe with a pound of butter.
2. has someone over to do the table while she cooks.
3. is given flowers by a lovely gay man.
4. works in the fact that she lives in East Hampton (full disclosure: this is lifted from other versions of the game I have seen online, I just can’t remember where but it needs to be included)
5. makes something that she mentions she has made a million times and Geoffrey acts as if he had never eaten it before.
6. makes a pork loin or adds bacon to a dish for a Jewish religious holiday (obviously she doesn’t keep a kosher kitchen but I find it interesting nonetheless).
Now that you are well and truly sauced you can either lie down on the couch and forget about the nine thousand things you need to do to get ready for Christmas or you can doddle into the kitchen and make what you think are the most perfect gingerbread peeps. Of course, tomorrow you may find they are mostly torsos or Cyclopses, but the house will smell pretty good, unless of course you burnt the gingerbread.